Breathe it In or Let it Go
by just a whimsy
Summary: *Faye and Spike argue over a bounty and a distress message comes from Ed...* Faye has a startling dream about the future, and she must decide to either forget it or follow it...(set at the end of Hard Luck Women)
1. Or So She Told Herself

Disclaimer: Big surprise, i don't own Cowboy Bebop. And the poem was done by my good friend Snickers, who for some reason thinks her poems aren't all that good (which we all know isn't true ~.^) and it's called Help Me Now.

~*

I'm so afraid, I'm all alone.

Can't you hear my desperate tone?

Can't you see the pain in my eyes?

Can't you hear the despair in my silent cries?

I'm so afraid, I can't cry out.

Can't you hear it through, my silence so loud?

I can only pray in this hush,

you'll hear my pleas, to my side you'll rush.

Don't believe nothing's wrong,

I am weak, though I may seem strong.

I'm slipping, I'm gonna fall.

There's no one to catch me, nobody at all

_A woman was shot at. I ran out to help. Shooting. Went with Julia. Two dangerous women, each a danger to those they were around. Took a message from her. Took it to Spike. Followed. Fought ships. Told Spike. Spike left. Left for her. Left us. For her. Always her. He left what I can call family, the only people left in the galaxy to deal with me. HE LEFT!!! And then, he came back. She had died. He talked to Jet. I ambushed him, before he left. I threatened him. He didn't care. He never cares. I told him to stay. She was dead. Yet he left without turning back. Without her to chase, we mean nothing. No reason to hang around. Right Spike? He left again. I never meant anything. ANYTHING! He left AGAIN!!! I shot at him, over him, around him. He didn't flinch. Sobbing. Heart wrenching cries. Me? Yes. He left. What could I do? I'm helpless. No one understands. Why can't they? Deep, shuddering sobs. Did I do something wrong? I suppose I was always wrong. Loneliness. Yes. Abandoned._

Alone.

Faye shot up from where she lay, her hands holding fistfuls of dirt, her face streaked with dirt and tears. She slowly unclenched her hands and stared wild-eyed into a haze of a dream.

"Oh." She whispered in a sob-like inhalation. The dirt fell from her hands, unnoticed.

She stood up shakily, unconsciously dusting dirt off of her form. The image of Spike walking away, 

unconcerned with her, flashed through her mind and she let out a hiccupping bawl, left over from her dream. 

Yes, that's what it had been. A dream. Why, then, did it seem so real? She walked away from where she had lay sleeping, for once totally unaware of her appearance.

"Spike." The word left her lips softly as she walked slowly down the hill, without her intention. She halted. 

__

What will I do? Where will I go?

She had intended on leaving, on being by herself for awhile, to sort out her fragmented memories and her thoughts towards them. They had left her with a name, and she had intended on researching it.

But now?

Now her mind was filled with more feelings she didn't want to consider. An unwanted vision that led, in a cataclysmic rush, to Spike's death. Uncertainty plagued her as she walked once more. She jogged to her ship and jumped inside, simply sitting, staring at the controls. She could go back to the Bebop. Or, she could go on a soul-searching cruise. Spike, or a trip to her past?

She shook her head. It was just a dumb dream! Why was she acting as if it were the end of the world? Besides, she'd had enough of those dumb men with their stupid airs and inabilities to lighten up.

Or so she told herself.

She started up her ship and put a finger on the button that would open up the process to taking her away.

Did she really want to leave them?

She hesitated, and with a growl pressed another series of buttons. Buttons that would take her home.

"It's _not _my home. And besides, all I want to do is borrow some money before I leave." She snapped irately at herself. With a shake of her head she gunned the engines and followed the homing beacon back to the ship.

She didn't give a damn about anyone.

Never did, and never would.

Or so she told herself. 

~*****~

AN: Yes i know, it's kinda short. Okay, _really_ short. Well, it is just the prologue. The next one won't be so short, though I think I'm gonna stick to the shorter chapters for this one, since I have three stories I'm working on that are up, and one more still going through the thought processor. I'm a lazy bum, so this is quite a plateful.

Anyhows...i will try to get the next chappie up soon.

Spike: You're not gonna make me fall for her, are you?

Kat: *stares* Why don't you go back to your grave, you idiot?! I'm on Faye's side here, so *rasberry*

Spike: *growls* I'm surrounded with stupid tomboys!

Kat: _What did you call me?_

Spike: *runs*

A-hem, next time, Faye realizes that her dream may just be real. So what will she do about it? *evil grin* until next time!

|Tree kat|~*

**__**

Will someone be there to catch you? 


	2. Cold All Over

****

disclaimer: *stares* ....you and i both know that if I owned cowboy bebop spike would have stood up julia. And lived. ^.^ so leave me alone!

Thankyou thankyou thankyou:

Bitchy Brunette: heh. yeah, if you hadn't said anything you still would've been waiting. ^^ Thanks for the 'push' and i hope this chappie lives up to your expectations!

IceAngel: Glad ya think it cool! Thanx for reviewing- even tho you didn't know the anime! ur the best!

estrella424: *phew* i was afraid the beginning was going to be super crappy...i'm happy you found it to be good. I hope this doesn't let you down!

sora: hehe, glad ya like it! hm, i don't think faye will let spike die, but you never know...(esp if he uses up all the shampoo! lol)

FoXY-LaDy: Yay! you thought it was interesting! (here i was convinced it was boring, dammit. ~.^) i'm happy you were so enthused about it, and i hope this will sate you!

~_text_~ contains scenes from a flashback

~*

The ship left dark smoke trails in the sky as Faye made her way back to the Bebop. It was a decision she knew she'd come to regret, but...that dream...

It had been disturbing; it had been so real. And that woman. Faye had never seen anyone like her before, so how had she come up with a woman like that; a model for Spike's Julia?

Not only that, but in the dream, she'd followed Spike to the Red Dragon HQ and had seen him fall. And die. Spike was practically invincible. He couldn't die, it was something she would never expect to have to see.

She shook her head, laughing at herself for worrying about Spike. Spike was Spike, he didn't need an anxious woman fluttering over him. Besides, when had she started to care? Those who cared were always shot down with those they cared about. She was a loner, a loner in every sense of the word. No matter what some stupid man said about her wanting to leave before someone left her.

She reached the Bebop and docked her ship, climbing out, noting the absence of the boys' ships. She scowled, "Figures. Wait until _I'm _gone before going out." She muttered, folding her arms.

She sauntered inside the ship, looking around for Ed and Ein. Usually they would've bounded out by now to see her. Not that she wanted to hear that girl's abnormally happy laughter and annoying words, or see the dog's uncanny stare and hear his irritating bark, but...

She was all alone. The ship, for the first time she could remember, was completely empty. She didn't think Ed and Ein would go with Jet and Spike anywhere, but then again, you never did know. ESPECIALLY if they were FINALLY going out to have some fun, WITHOUT _her_.

She was filled with a sense of injustice, that they would _all _go out, like some celebration that she'd gone. Had they given up so quickly on her? Or had they been waiting for her to leave? Well, she'd show those asses. She searched around for paper and pencil, and once she found them, she started writing.

Hey-

Gone shopping, be back soon!

Faye

Oh, by the way, I didn't have any money, so I used the ship's. Hope ya don't mind ^^

She smirked victoriously as she signed the note with a flourish. "That'll teach you." She murmured, and promptly went to where she knew the ship safe was. She opened up the safe, humming to herself, remembering the last time she'd done this. She cheerfully took out six thousand woolongs, and closed the safe with a satisfying slam.

Hmmm....that would take care of Jet, but what about Spike? She grinned devilishly, and quickly trotted down the corridors. A half hour later she emerged from the bathroom, and swaggered out of the ship. She climbed into her Redtail with a wicked grin plastered on her face.

"Shopping time." She purred in a sing-song voice, and laughed, powering up her ship to leave.

*

Five very satisfying hours later she was staggering up a street, very suspiciously slanting upwards. Not that she had any doubt that it was slanting up to torture her. She was carrying about six heavy bags, the total weight rivaling her own. She would've called a cab...but she'd used up all the money. She didn't feel like getting a ride the old-fashioned way, so she'd just have to walk. Damn the street boys. 

She'd parked her ship a little bit away from the city, remembering the last time when she'd had a few words sprayed across the tail, at which Jet had laughed and told her to clean it herself. A grimace crossed her face as she remembered. Her hands had ached from the prolonged usage of heavy tools. It wasn't until she'd been scrubbing for at least 10 hours before Jet had told her she'd have to use something other than plain paint. Like some new-fangled spray over, since what those asses had used couldn't be covered up with paint. Jeez, it wasn't like she'd _know _since at the time this had been created she'd been in cryo. So of course she hadn't wanted a repeat. What sane woman would?

The distance hadn't seemed long when she'd parked. Of course, that was before she'd gone happily shopping halfway across the city, not thinking of the return trip with heavy bags. Next time she'd convince some dumb lout to carry it for her. Someone stupid who would be easily persuaded to the task at a single glance at her. Being a woman was good.

Then again, the only two she even came close to trusting wouldn't be so easily convinced. Well, Spike was stupid, but he'd refuse to do anything that involved helping her. "A-r-g-h! Stupid, lazy, lunk-headed, jackass bastard..." She ranted to herself, blaming every little drop of sweat on Spike. It was all his fault. Just the thought of him made things worse. He was such an arrogant little prick...unbearable was what he was.

"You're in good shape, girl, but maybe a few exercises wouldn't be misplaced..." She panted, pausing for a moment on the sharply inclining street put there just for her to stumble upon when she was carrying heavy groceries for miles. She was nearly doubled over from her exertions, knowing she'd feel each and every muscle in her body the next morning. She huffed for a few seconds before starting her climb again, bags firmly grasped in her hands. She tried to ignore the hair plastered to her face, and the sweat that would no doubt ruin her complexion. 

Tires screeched behind her at the bottom of the hill, nearly making her drop her bags as she was pulled from her thoughts unpleasantly. She panted with renewed effort as she came back from the brink of a heart attack, and would've jumped but for the weight pulling her down. She mentally cursed the driver in her head, knowing it was probably a _he_ and wanting _him_ to drop off the planet for catching her off guard.

Her cussing stopped as she realized that the car might be a ticket out of that hellhole. She whirled, ready to bring the car to a halt with a few moves, when bullets gone wide whizzed past her head. This time she did drop her bags, taking a step back and reaching for her gun with wide eyes.

There was a red car in front, with a woman driving, and three black cars pursuing. Oh. Going after a poor, wronged woman, were they? Bastards. Time they met-

Her thoughts and her hand froze as de-ja-vu blossomed into her mind. She started trembling as she recognized the scenario from her dream. She knew where this would head, if it went far enough. Julia was going to die anyhow...but how could she not help another like her? Even if it meant losing Spike.

Losing Spike. Forever.

Ass! She didn't need him! He was constantly getting on her nerves, he couldn't take a joke and he was always wrecking things!

But if he wasn't there then who would get the money for food? She'd actually have to _work_.

He was always screwing things up. And he didn't care about anyone but his precious Julia and his enemy. And he insulted her singing.

He was the closest thing to family. And wasn't that what she'd given up on, to be with the crew of the Bebop?

She bit her lip, and jumped back in surprise as the cars flashed past, the red car spinning out of control as a bullet hit a tire. The three in back paced the red car, like wolves after a wounded deer. A deer that soon plowed into a building. Faye winced at the impact, against her will moving towards the scene, her bags forgotten behind her. The woman had made it out of the car, and was using it for a shield as she reached for a gun. 

She came up empty handed. Faye could read the curse on the woman's lips, one repeated in her own mind.

Fuck.

The men from the cars had jumped out, the woman attempting to flee. They had quickly surrounded her, and she stopped where she stood, looking around with as calm and dangerous a look as could be expected.

~_She's like an angel from the underworld. Or perhaps a devil in paradise.~_

The words she'd spoken in her dream came floating unbidden to her mind, as she watched the woman cooly regard the men who were approaching her with devilish delight on their faces. She simply stood there, as if not willing to expend energy on a situation that would be a lose in the long run. Oh, what a woman indeed. The men closed, the one in front of her pulling out a gun. Faye was suddenly running, her own gun out in her hands, moisture she would later deny glittering wildly in her eyes. A single shot ran out.

The woman fell, blood flowing red around an arm she'd placed to her stomach, her eyes not surprised, but regretful.

Cold settled over Faye, and she shot, bullets finding their marks in the soft flesh of targets who hadn't acknowledged her presence.

__

Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang....Bang.

Five men fell, as she rushed to the woman's side, staring down in a mixture of jealousy, sorrow, and numbness.A need to know was suddenly pulsing with every beat of her heart. Her lips quivered, as the woman gave her the same gaze as in her dream. Only now it was fogged.

~_Bang_

Bang

Bang

Bang

Bang. Five bullets had flown, aimed carelessly towards the retreating back of a man she couldn't admit her love for. Just as he'd only admit love for one. Just as he'd die for one, on a stupid whim...~

She choked as the hopeless tears from her dream haunted her now, trailing slowly down her face, tickling her cold skin with their lightness. Damn that man. Damn him to hell! She knew, with a cold fear that grabbed her heart, the truth that had been in her dream. 

"Julia-?"

"You...saved...me," The woman known as Julia forced out, a tiny little smile betraying bitterness to an otherwise accepting face. "F...Faye...?" Her tone mocked Faye's, a pale version of the throaty, rich voice she remembered so well from her dream. Strands of long, wavy blond hair fell over a face beautiful and mysterious. Lips lush and red parted slightly, the strain of speaking showing itself in a thin red trail trickling down to her jaw. A horrible sense of unfairness permeated Faye's smooth exterior, that Julia had gotten to Spike before her. That Spike had fallen for Julia. And somehow...that Julia was now dying before her. A goddess who had come through hell to suddenly stop and fall with broken wings.

"Yeah." Faye knew her face was reflecting every thought that had crossed her mind. Worse still, she couldn't control it. And she didn't care. How? How could her dream have been so right? And yet...had it changed things? Could she really have saved Julia in a different place and time? Would Spike now live? It seemed an even trade, to Faye's tightly clenched stomach and hands.

"Y-you....know...Ss....Sp...ah...Spike?" Julia's voice had fallen to a hoarse whisper, the brightness of her eyes failing. Faye shot up from where she'd unconsciously crouched by Julia, fearing the next part. It didn't matter that Julia was dying. Spike. Shamefully, all she could think of was Spike. That one little allowance frightened her. The truth of her dream scared her shitless. She crushed beneath fire and ice the seed that she had allowed to plant itself in her heart. She would never allow herself to dash her heart against stone. Not again. She wasn't meant to be a catalyst; she realized that as she looked at herself honestly for the first time since coming out of her cold sleep. She would simply break. 

As if to compound her confusion and dark thoughts, memories opened like a sunburst to her shocked mind. Julia lay dying at her feet, trying desperately to tell her precious message to Faye. Blood pooling touched her boots, and Faye stared as it stained the pristine white. Julia moved slightly, reaching out to touch Faye.

And she ran.

~*

A/N: well, was that drawn out or what? Faye will certainly have some heavy thinking to do, especially if she's not going to tell Spike.

Spike: She's not going to tell me? *glare*

me: what? you'll be happier not knowing *pictures Spike running carefree in a field of flowers* ooh, wait...no, that's scary *shudder*

Spike: *looks hopeless*

Anyhows, please review, and i'll try to put up the next chapter in a timely manner (some prodding may be necessary ~.^)

Treekat


	3. Worthwhile

Disclaimer: Oh puh-leez. Like you can't figure out for yourself that i don't own one of the greatest anime shows of all time. You just want me to say this so you can laugh at me, don't you? Yeah, i can hear you! Don't deny it, either! You losers...*stalks off to mutter to herself*

My big thanks to:

Bitchy Brunette: I almost named this chapter 'reverie' after reading your review, but then i thought 'branded' would be better, but then it wouldn't describe the whole chapter *shrugs*. Yeah, i do agree about the length...i think that i will keep these chapters to my standard length. Thanks a lot for the review and i'm glad ya continue to like it!

Ice Angel: Wow, you put this in your fav. stories!!! ^^ Good to know you're enjoying it so much! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Hiro: So ur a cb fan too? Awesome! yeah, i still wanna do the editing thingy, but, (as usual) I'm kinda bogged down. I'll see if i can read ur story all the way through. Also, i do do the indention stuff as well as all the formatting, but when i put it into html, it destroys it. Sooo....unless u know how to make it pretty in html, i'm stuck (it drives me crazy!!!). good suggestion tho! Hope ya like this chapter!

Arsinoe: Wow, thanks so much for the compliments! I always worry that i ruin the characters when i do fanfics...thanks for telling me otherwise! This one doesn't have as many descriptions as the previous chapter, probably because i was concentrating more on thoughts and speech...but *shrugs*. I'm happy that you enjoyed the story so much, and hopefully you'll continue to enjoy it!

This one's for my sis, who typed this chapter up and gave me a very nice compliment on the story! ^.^ And in advance, sorry for any ooc-ness.

~*

Faye stopped running only when she collapsed on the ground next to her ship, tears bubbling out of her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. She had been shaken deeply, from her bloody encounter with Julia and with a memory that contained more harsh truth then she wanted to confront. She squeezed her eyes shut, as it played in her mind again. 

~_Faye ran happily towards her friends, holding her backpack on her shoulders with a viselike grip. She slowed down as two of them, Ami and Jo, looked down almost guiltily, glancing up at Luria._

Luria was Faye's best friend; tanned skinned with bright, grayish-hazel eyes. Her hair rolled down her back, flowing in waves like silken copper. She always had one of those quiet, sweet smiles, almost like she was finding the best in everything. She was a sweet girl, cheerful without being obnoxious, always caring for others and holding her own. She could sing like an angel, but was never arrogant about it.

She was never arrogant about anything, existing in a peaceful world where things always turned to good. Faye wanted to be like her, to exist in those brightly white clouds given to people meant to be something. But she was one of a different kind, instead existing on a bold and barren mountain peak, looking up at the stars. She was naturally sarcastic, insecure, bitchy; practically the opposite of Luria.

But when she closed on her friends, Luria's ever present smile was gone, replaced with a look of hurt and anger. And it was directed towards Faye.

"L-Luria...what's wrong?" she blurted, looking anxiously at her best bud.

"You know full well." Her voice was cold and reeking of misplaced trust.

"What do you mean?" Faye looked between her friends, hoping for some small sign. There was more.

"I saw you, Faye Horiga. I saw your disgusting act." Luria had never been so upset... Oh no. She couldn't have seen...

"Luria...guys, if you're talking about what happened in the field--" she started to explain.

"Don't dismiss it like that! You were kissing the whore-master himself! His hands were all over you!" Luria screamed, her face red. Rob Korunachi, biggest womanizer on campus, had once molested Luria almost to the point of rape. In her perfect world, he was the one and only person she hated, in her quiet, loatheing way. To her, talking to him was a sin. Looking at him soiled the eyes.

And any bodily contact was unforgivable.

"No-no Luria, it wasn't like that at all!" Faye said honestly, her face heating from the stares they were receiving from other students.

"Don't tell me bullshit! I saw you! You betrayed me; my trust, my friendship; every single ideal I thought you stood for!"

Faye looked at Luria, eyes wide, feeling almost removed from the situation. It was unreal. Rob had forced himself on her, and she had been too weak to escape.

"No! Let me--"

"You - you are so disgusting! You are the biggest slut in this school. You whore! I never - never_ thought to see you sink to such despicable depths." With that, Luria turned heel and strode off, Ami and Jo casting unsure looks at each other, and Faye, before trotting after Luria._

Faye was left standing, branded a slut, with a wound that ran deeper than even she knew. ~

Faye sobbed as her life from that point came in short bursts to her. Luria, Ami and Jo had never spoken to her again, and she had gone through the rest of her senior year alone. She had never thought herself pretty, and now with her self-confidence at -10, she had fallen into depression. 

It had become so clear to her then, that she was a slut, somehow, for suffering Rob's hands on her person. In uncaring despair she became closed off and passive, quitting cheerleading and every other activity she'd been involved in.

She saw a psychologist, where nothing was resolved, and her freshman year in college she'd been brutally raped.

Raped. Molested. Violated.

At that point she'd caved, instead of covering up she became flamboyantly revealing, hoping for people to take her as low-life and stay away. She'd taken self defense classes, and learned to chase away advances. But she kept up her whorish disguise, not letting anyone in and parading herself as some sexy, bitchy creature that was as low as she was one sided. Until her twentieth birthday and the accident...

It all clicked into place. Why she'd felt so right in those slutty clothes. Why she'd cultivated her appearance and smooth, bad attitude.

Why she couldn't let anyone in.

She retreated into her ship, staring dumbly at the blood staining her boot. She wiped her nose on the back of her sleeve, trying to eradicate the tear stains from her face with a trembling hand.

Her comm beeped and she jumped, staring at it. She pressed it automatically.

"Where are you?" It was Spike, more demanding than asking. She stared at him in surprise, covering her roiling emotions with a look of disdain. She was well practiced at it, after all.

"What do you want?"

"I'm heading out to the city of Tharsus. I want you to meet me there." He sounded hurried. Why couldn't he leave her alone?

"Why should I?" she asked, almost worried that he would detect the weakness that made her want to cry.

"Well, it's hard for Jet to get around with his leg all shot up." She gasped, as the deja-vu came back. She groaned, unsure of what to do, confused and totally shaken.

"What makes you think I'm coming back? You take too much--"

"What about this, huh?" Spike waved the note she'd written in front of her face. Her gut twisted, and she realized she'd almost done the same thing as in her dream, except for that note...

"Meet me in Tharsus." He ordered, and cut the transmission. She stared at it, shocked and unsure of what to do about this as much as with everything else.

Overwhelmed, she burst into tears.

*

She flew home, feeling guilty about Julia, scared over her dream; insecure, as she'd always been insecure. It was like she was cursed to live an existence alone; misunderstood and shunned.

Didn't really matter. Not like she was important anyhow.

She made her way to Tharsus and landed at the ship. Why had Spike wanted her back, anyhow? Why couldn't he take care of Jet? She stumbled out, too late realizing that she'd left her bags near Julia...she shuddered, and decided to tell the boys she'd gone gambling.

She sauntered into the ship, wondering where Spike was and if he'd explain to her. Where was everyone? It was like before she'd gone out, but both the ships were in. Where were Ed and Ein? Where was Jet? If he was supposedly crippled, he couldn't be wandering around aimlessly...

She walked into the living room, expecting to see Ed or Ein, but the room was echoingly empty. She went into the kitchen, more looking for any sign of life then for food...besides, she knew there wasn't much left. She thought back guiltily to her bags. Maybe she'd go get a bounty later. Or at least find one for Spike to get.

She went back to the hangar and saw Jet silently staring thoughtfully down at the ships, from the upper level. "Hey Jet, what happened to you?" she called, curious. He's been like this in her dream, too. It was starting to really freak her out.

"Accident..." he muttered more to himself then to her. She grunted. 

"What happened to the runt and mutt?" she asked, still aware of the eerie quietness without Ed dancing around.

"They left." He said simply, staring at her curiously. Shock coursed through her, and her mouth opened. Left? Left where? Where on earth would they--?

Earth. Her father.

No. No. They wouldn't last out there. She had to get them.

"We're not going to get them and neither are you. They left on their own; they'll be fine." Jet said gruffly. She had spoken her thoughts out loud? She must be more frazzled then she'd thought.

"How do you know they'll be okay? She's apart of the Bebop, not just some lousy stowaway! I'm going after them!" Faye shouted, not knowing why she was so upset and not caring. 

"Not if you want to come back, you're not!" Jet rumbled, his eyes flashing at her.

"Fine! I won't abandon Ed, or Ein! You know what it's like to be all alone, without someone to look to? Without any friendly faces? It sucks. I'm not going to let that happen to them!" she yelled, fists clenched tightly at her sides. Jet's eyes were wide, but he quickly regained control. 

"Faye," he said gently, "Ed lasted fine without us, and I'm sure she'll take good care of Ein. If they wanna come back, she'll have no problem getting in contact." He ended his statement firmly, with a no-nonsense tone.

Faye glared at him for a long time, but muttered "Fine." She turned on her heel and stalked away.

*

Spike sat on the bright yellow cough, stomach still grumbling after a less than satisfying meal. He had his legs up on the table, watching a new bounty show he's found called Bounty Catch. After finding out Faye had lost their money gambling, Jet had ordered him -_him_!- to find some bounties to catch. Finally, after a dozen small fry he just turned it off, looking dully at the blank screen. The whole thing was...well, bullshit. He'd called Faye back, and she'd come. He'd planned on having her there for Jet's sake, as he had been thinking of taking out Vicious. Which probably would have left him dead, but...

He had to find out if this life was really real...or...

Faye abruptly came striding into the living room, to flop opposite him on the other couch. She was wearing light blue short shorts and a black belly t-shirt that had the word 'freak' written across it in purple glitter. Where she had managed to find _that_ ensemble he could only guess. She could be described as a freak, he supposed, but she was more tomboy than anything.

In that she disgusted him. She wore a prostitute's clothes, had an attitude of a first class bitch, and vehemently hated sleazy women and guys who were only looking to pick up girls. She was an oxymoron, wrapped up in layers of lies and bad habits. She would assume too much about others, then get all huffed up when people did the same to her.

And that bitchy attitude... All she served was to remind him how much he'd lost in Julia.

She leaned forward, looking at him, and opened her mouth with a look of someone that had something to say, but didn't know how to say it.

"Got somethin'?" he asked with half-lidded eyes. She looked surprised that he'd noticed her. She _was_ surprised that he was up so late. 

"What're you doing up so late?" she asked, genuinely curious. She was still wondering why he'd called her back.

"I could ask the same about you," he replied, eyes still half closed. She leaned back, crossing her legs at the ankles. She fiddled with a piece of her hair, wondering why she'd bothered to come over here to talk to him. 

"Would you ever leave the Bebop, Spike?" she blurted out, feeling her cheeks heat with the awkwardness of the question. She saw him looking at her from her peripheral vision, but didn't look up.

"Why would you wanna know that?" he asked, annoyance and curiosity mixing in his voice. She shrugged, stilling her fingers on her legs as she tucked them under her body.

"Just curious, I guess. It doesn't really matter," she said nonchalantly, putting as much 'I really don't give a damn, either way' in her voice as she could.

"Huh," he snorted, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling.

"Well, are you going to answer me?" she demanded, sitting up a little.

"If you don't really care..." he trailed off, leaving her staring at him.

"If you were to leave, then we might actually keep food in the fridge," she snapped, folding her arms across her stomach.

"If I were to leave you wouldn't have any money to get food, seeing as how you're always sitting around on your ass." He raised an eyebrow at her and she stared back at him, unimpressed.

"The only reason I 'sit on my ass' as you so delicately put it, is because I have _you_ to do _my_ work _for_ me." She said with a smirk.

"Then you shouldn't complain when we don't have any food, should you?" He grunted, once more leaning back to look at the ceiling. She growled in frustration. They sat in silence for awhile, him looking off into space and her brooding. Finally, she sat up, crossing her legs on the couch and leaning her head on her arm.

"Seriously, would you leave the Bebop forever if it meant killing Vicious?" she asked, staring at him. He shifted, but didn't look at her.

"You ask some really annoying questions, you know that?" he retorted, sounding irritated. Faye made a face at him.

"Ever feel like everything is just too much, and you want to get away from it all?" she asked softly, in complete earnest. Spike shot her a look.

"Is that why you keep running off with the ship's money?" he asked sarcastically, anger seeping into his tone.

"Yeah." Spike looked at her in surprise. He snorted a laugh, "You're a piece of work." 

"I know," she said coyly, and the two grinned, more at inner thoughts than at each other. She leaned back, and cocked her head at Spike.

"Why was Julia so special, anyhow?" She knew Spike would probably explode, but to her surprise he calmed, getting up and walking around to her side. He leaned over her, until his face was inches from hers. She stared up at his amused face so close to her own with wide eyes.

"Because she's everything you're not," he said in a low, half teasing, half serious voice. He grinned as her face contorted with shock and displeasure. 

"You bastard!" she yelled, flinging a cushion at him as he walked away. Chuckles echoed back to her. She sat for a little while longer, staring down at her hands, folded in her lap.

"Is she really worth it?"

~*

A/N: Whew! I got this written a lot faster than i thought i would. Hehe, i had to include a little bit of Spike and Faye talking ~.^ There'll be a lot more of that...But i must warn you, i am not one of those people who thinks spike falls head over heels for faye simply because julia dies. No, in my opinion it's gonna take a lot before either of them is attracted (Spike more than Faye) towards the other. Anyhows, hope ya enjoyed it and please review! (Don't be afraid to give suggestions, either!)

Treekat


	4. Jive Cat Jump part I

disclaimer: As I haven't come up with a large fortune lately and crazily bought up as much anime as possible, i don't think i own cowboy bebop. And i highly doubt you do either.

Wow, you guys really liked the story! ^.^ Thanks a heap!

IceAngel: Awww, wow, you really think so? Hehe, thanks a bunch. Not to be modest or anything, but you should really check out Lem's story, "Reasons to Kill." In my opinion, it's one of the best Cowboy Bebop fics out there. (Just look in my favorite stories). Thanks a bunch!

Madrigaia: Lol, awww, you're hurting Spike's feelings! We don't want that...*Faye and Madrigaia pull out machine guns* uhhh...shutting up. ^.^ Thanks!

Eternity's Angel of Mercy: Wow, thanks for the huge compliments! I started to read your stories, but then i had to go. I really liked Lullaby in B Minor...maybe i'll actually review it one of these days *blushes* i'm notorious about never reviewing when i should...Anyhow, thanks a lot for the review!

Cowgirl 13: hehe, well, here it is! I'm glad you think that i caught their personalities well; i really tried! Hope you enjoy!

1234: Thanks a bunch for the review and subsequent encouragement, hope ya like this chappy as well!

sman2071: Wow, i don't think i've ever gotten a compliment that big...dang. *speechless* Thank you so much for thinking so and i hope i don't let you down with this chapter! Oh, and i heard your complaint about never seeing Jet- and i agreed. I will try to keep Jet in the storyline and not let this spiral into a Faye/Spike get together. The same applies to Edward. Thanks for the suggestion!

ChiisanaAnisa: lol, you were just in time to be included ^.^ So i've hooked ya, huh? lol, i'm glad u liked it so much! Hope this isn't too much of a wait...*wink*

Just a little warning...there is a brief burst of profanity in this chappy...not as big as some other authors, but big for me. Just so ya know.

~*

Faye yawned, relaxing in the tub. She rolled her head on her neck, trying desperately to go to sleep ever since her conversation with Spike. Why he'd affected her like that she could only guess; he was such an ass sometimes!

No, practically always.

A match for her wits, her stubbornness...and he treated everything like it was a game. He didn't care, and he'd be damned before he did.

Still, he was a good shot and a good person to have at your back. He was loyal in his own, carefree way. He disgusted her; he knew of all the nasty things in the world and was so touchy about his own past and feelings, but everyone else he treated like a joke. Like none of it was really real.

"Whatever. Why should I care anyhow?" she asked herself aloud, her voice sounding harsh in the calm stillness.

Disgusted with herself for not being able to sleep and with Spike for being so damn annoying, she got out of the tub, allowing the tepid water to drain. She wrapped herself up in her robe and walked out to the living room, where she plopped herself down on the couch with a sigh. She flipped on the tv.

"...bounty to be put on a bounty lead! At 40 million woolongs, this one is a risk well worth taking. But beware cowboys, 'cuz this is quite a risk!" a hyped up male spoke enthusiastically, the mug shot of a handsome-no, hot-Chinese guy being displayed with his stats.

"Now this is what I'm talking about!" Faye grinned wolfishly, now perched on the edge of the sofa. The guy was named Wealin Doute, his crime being the smuggling of a plant hybrid that created a drug that induced the typical drug symptoms. It looked like...

Faye stifled a laugh in surprise. It looked like weed! Those poor, poor fools were getting upset over that? Damn, but they were stupid. Oh well, their loss; they were probably upset because they didn't have a foot in the operations.

This was one she intended to cash in on. Only...she bent closer, reading some fine print stuck under the bounty description. It appeared the guy and his cohorts had already killed six cowboys, while three more were missing, presumed dead. Hm. That dampened things. Well maybe she didn't want to get this by herself...

She'd simply get Spike to help her out. Bastard that he was, he sure knew how to get a bounty head. Decided, she went to her room to get changed.

*

Faye awoke sprawled on the couch, a patch of wetness near her mouth.

Eww.

She sat up, Spike watching tv, the volume turned up obnoxiously loud. She looked at him and he smirked, knowing he'd woken her up. 

"Is that necessary?" she asked, glaring at him, having surreptitiously wiped her mouth.

"Didn't think Jet would like your drool over all the couch," he said with a droll grin, innocently looking at her.

"You are such a lunkhead," she growled, picking up the magazine she'd been reading before she feel asleep.

"You miss out on some sleep or something?" he asked in his usual non-committal tone. 

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did. Why?" she snapped, in her irritation ripping her magazine. Screw it.

"You look shittier than normal, that's all," he replied absently, watching a talk show highlighting a hysterical woman.

She pursed her lips, her glare reaching a new level of furious.

"Well fuck you."

"Fuck yourself."

"Do you even know what common courtesy is?"

"Why would I show you that when it's so much fun to bait you?" his grin widened, "Besides, shrew women don't get common--"

Faye whacked him over the head with a cushion.

"You are like three annoying brothers packed into one! How the hell any woman is even remotely attracted to you I don't know." Faye growled, standing over him. He sat up and looked at her.

"Watch it, shrew."

"Lunkhead."

"Bitch."

"Ass."

"Slut," Spike smirked as she got angrier. She dug her heel into his shoe.

"Hey-! OW!"

"You know, I was going to share a bounty with you, but now I'd much rather see your carcass starving," she said softly, utmost irritation lacing her tone along with fake sweetness. 

"Fine by me. You never do anything by yourself anyway," he said with a fake sweet tone to match her own.

"You--you watch and learn, cowboy!" she shouted.

"Fine. I think I will," he retorted smugly. A polite cough interrupted them, and they both looked up to see Jet leaning against a wall, arms folded.

"I'm assuming you were talking about the 40 million bounty, Faye, in which case you're both going after it or you're not staying here and wasting my food," Jet said sternly, looking seriously at the both of them. Faye looked at Spike with a raised eyebrow, he looked at her with the same expression of utter disdain.

"Fine, but he better not get in my way."

"Fine, but she had better not screw it up."

They said at the same time, glaring at each other.

"Well?" Jet had a glare of his own for the two, who never seemed to do anything without being prodded. Lazy bums.

"Get moving. Don't waste any more time on it; this is a hot bounty!"

Faye and Spike got up, Spike with his quiet air of scorn and dislike, Faye muttering angrily.

"Bebop Bebop!" Ed's voice crackled over the comm. Jet moved to respond, but Faye shoved him out of the way and sat down to receive it.

"What do you want?" she asked, not altogether unkindly. Jet glanced at Spike, who had a scowl plastered on his face as he glared at Faye.

"Ein is very sick, Faye-Faye. He was attacked by big mean dogs...it's all Ed's fault. Edward should have never taken him." Jet stared at the screen, shock coursing through him. Ein hurt? Spike beside him had looked down, forgotten cigarrette hanging off his lips.

"I'm coming." Jet broke out of his shock as Faye cut the transmission, standing up and striding towards the door. 

"Faye, where are you going?" he asked, knowing this was going to end badly.

"To get Ed. You heard her, she needs help," Faye replied stubbornly, moving towards the door.

"What about the bounty?" 

"Spike can take care of it." With that, she was gone. Jet glared resolutely at the door. Of all the stubborn, willful women, Faye was one of the worst.

Spike sighed, leaning back on the couch. "I told you."

"Told me what?" Jet grumbled, scratching his head.

"Faye's type is always trouble." 

Jet sighed, rubbing his neck. "Yeah," he said, leaning heavily on his crutch. Spike got up and slouched to the door.

"Guess I'll go grab this one then. Alone," Spike said in his toneless voice that told Jet he was miffed.

The room was suddenly echoingly empty. Jet heaved a sigh, grateful to finally have peace and quiet. Well, he liked to believe that at least. Just him and Spike had been fine, two single men that had understood each other and knew when to let the other be. They hadn't been the most fortuitous pair, but they've gotten along.

He hobbled to his room to clip his bonzais. Ever since Faye had joined, the peaceful task was always plagued by her excessive whining. Fix this and that-stuff he and Spike would have left as is for days. She always seemed to gamble the money away and stole it at inopportune times. And always getting herself into trouble. Ein was the only one to not complain. And Ed. 

The two had come at different times but seemed to have a friendly relationship; two companions like himself and Spike. Huh, maybe if Faye had someone to talk to, she'd leave him alone.

Alone...

Sitting by his precious bonzais in his room, he put down his clippers, chilled with an unwelcome realization.

He missed them already.

~*

A/N: Note about the title: Yes, this is an actual jazz piece. To me, it sounds wild and fast (i've played bass on it) and it travels, with lots of chords. In short, it's a good piece for some good ol' cowboy bebop action *hinthint*

Hehe, so they're all three splitting up. What will happen? I have some crazy ideas that u guys may or may not like...hehe. Let me tell you that this won't be without some action. Oh no... ~.^ Hope ya liked it and please review!

Treekat


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